I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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