I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
