The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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