i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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