No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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