evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
either way he was missing a nipple.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
