You work out of a Hotel?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
