That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
