THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
