Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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