Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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