Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize