I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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