Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize