I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
