And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
the raccoons are back...
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