love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
