I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
