My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
