Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
