Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize