Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
