did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
