if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
