For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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