I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i dont even know how to be here
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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