there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
