worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
