i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I puked a lego.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
