we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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