Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
