I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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