We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
