i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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