Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
