Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize