What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
