Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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