I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
