You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize