dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
