Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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