Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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