Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
