I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
