You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
