So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
