yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
