Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
