this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
