So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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