I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
