no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
