whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize