He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
