I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
