Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize