thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
