Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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