I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize