Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
