We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
