Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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