You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
