Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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