Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
