the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize