I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
