And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
