So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
