considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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