It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
