I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
