At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
