So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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