it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
