He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
