Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
