The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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