Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
