Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
