I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
