Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
