He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
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