She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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