dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
