If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Found the puke drawer
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I enjoy the company of your penis
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
